Real Love

Every time I take a walk in the park, I see on on the pavement of the walkway, painted with white spray-paint, these words:

Why
is
real
love
so
hard
to
find!

A step away from this message is the drawing of a heart with the “J + W” written inside the heart.

As I continue walking, I keep asking myself, “What is that not so real love, and what is the real love?” After having pondered this question many times on my walks, I think the person behind this outcry is looking for something beyond romantic attraction. After the hight of raging emotions, the descent into emptiness follows. Where can the elusive “real love” be found, the love that does not leave a void?.

I would like to continue with these reflections in the form of a dialog, and name the unknown person Steffie. I do not know anybody with that name, so I do not address a specific person. Where Can I Find Real Love?

Steffie, you put and exclamation mark at the end of your question. It seems to me that you are a little frustrated.

Well you know how guys are!

My father told me a little story. His father, my grandfather, had lost his glasses somewhere in the living room, and he just could not find them. Soon the whole family was searching for his glasses. But nobody was able to find them, they had disappeared without a trace. After an intensive search they all looked at each other with disbelief that those glasses could nowhere be found. And then one of them looked at my grandfather and saw that he did have the glasses, not on his nose, but on his hair, on the top of his head. So the hunt for the reading glasses ended with a big laugh.

Sometimes we are looking for things in the wrong places.

What do you mean?

Well, more often than not, women think that through physical attraction they will also attract real love. Isn’t much effort and expense going into dresses, makeup, shoes and hair styling? But the road of physical attraction does not lead to real love. It’s simply the wrong road.

So I have to be ugly to find real love! - I’m joking. But where can I find real love?

The apostle Paul wrote: “Glorify God in your body!” I would say that looking good is glorifying to God. He created us beautifully.

While my grandfather, my grandmother and the four children were busily searching, the glasses were there all the time, only the whole family did not see them; every one was looking in the wrong places. Even though most people don’t see it, the real love is always there. In the Holy Book we read, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.” Most people do not think that they would find real love in the pages of the Bible; that’s why they never look there. But let me show you that you can find real love in the book that God gave to you and me.

I don’t see that married couples in churches are different from those that do not go to church. Church people put on a good face every Sunday morning, but at home there is no real love either.

Unfortunately, you are right; often this is true. The divorce rate among so called Evangelical Christians is even higher than in the general population. This is a very sad reality. But I know that God’s love is real. God’s Love

There is a story in the book of Genesis that leaves always a deep impression in me, even though I have read the story many times, every time I read it, my heart is deeply touched. It is the story of Abraham walking a three day journey to offer up his only son, Isaak. This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. I do not want to summarize the text. Let us listen to the story as it is written in the book of Genesis.

And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am

And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him.

Then on the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes, and saw the place afar off.

And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.

And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together.

And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?

And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together.

And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood.

And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.

And the angel of the LORD called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.

And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.

And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son.

And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovah-Jireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of the LORD it shall be seen.
(Genesis 22:1-14)

Is God capricious? Why did he first command Abraham to sacrifice his son, and then in the last moment he stopped him from finishing what he had commanded Abraham to do?

I believe God wanted to show the whole world what it does to a father’s heart to give up his only son. When “Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?”, Abraham could not tell him: “You are the lamb.”

But in the Garden of Gethsemane God told his Son: “You are the lamb.” On that same mount Moriah, because God so loved the world, there he gave his only son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. That is real love.

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all
(Isaiah 53:4-5).

In the Gospel of John, in the 8th chapter we read: “And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, they say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?” (8:3-5). Jesus did not answer immediately, but he wrote with his finger on the ground.

The law that the scribes and Pharisees referred to is found in Deuteronomy 22:22 “If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.” I believe that this is what Jesus wrote on the ground. The scribes and the Pharisees only brought the woman, they did not bring the man who was with her “in the very act.” The Law says: “they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman.” By only bringing the woman and letting the man go free, the scribes and the Pharisees broke the law themselves.

When Jesus finally said to them: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her” they saw, written on the ground, that they were as guilty as the women. And one by one, they left.

Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, “Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?” She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”

Behind those words is more than meets the eye. It looks like Jesus broke the law, too, by setting it aside, by not applying it. But Jesus knew that he could let her go free, because he would take her place! The same people that wanted to stone this women were those that shouted: “Crucify him, crucify him!” In him were fulfilled the words of Isaiah and Abraham:

And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering? And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering.
(Gemesis 22:7-8)

This is real love, this is God’s love.

Why is real love so hard to find? - We can ask God to open our hearts to his love, so that it may flow through us. I am sure that God will answer this prayer! When God’s love flows through us to the people around us, then it will not any more be hard to find the real love. A tiny, honest prayer can do that!